[He's quick to say it. And actually that's the accusation he feels worst about now he's had time to sit there and worry about this conversation while he's been waiting.]
We weren't even dating then. It was just generally. He said if someone was gay where he comes from they'd still marry who they were meant to. For heirs. Or so they didn't shame their family. And he's totally okay with that happening. He's happier with it that way. He said he's alarmed when he thinks too much about knowing two guys who are engaged to each other.
[He laughs a little as he explains it, still hardly able to believe he had that conversation. That it actually does still sound that bad now he's sober.]
God, I can't believe I actually thought he might have changed his mind.
We were still fucking. It's still personal, even if he didn't know that. [But honestly they'd been obvious to, he's pretty sure, both Natasha and Jade, so if it was missed, it was missed willingly.
He breathes out heavily at the explanation, leaning his head against Oliver.] Jesus. I shouldn't really be surprised? There are some older necromancers who think the same shit. But literally all he has to do is decide that other people's personal lives aren't his business to be scandalized about.
He can think whatever he wants. [He tilts his head, mouths a kiss against whatever he can reach.] You're not a waste of my time. And he can fuck off with his party if he'd rather go plan it with the "muggles" he hates.
He knew I was gay. I don't know if he knew about you being bi. He was upset he kept running into people who weren't straight, but I was really drunk. I thought maybe I made a bigger thing of it than it was.
[But now he's actually talking about it... it had been pretty bad. Really bad.
Bad enough to get Soeki frozen out of his Halloween party? He can't quite believe himself, but he isn't sure. It isn't just some dumb commercialized holiday to either him or Lucius.]
I know I'm not. [He's secure enough in his relationship he already knew he didn't think so either, but the kiss is nice all the same. He seeks out the hand that isn't currently holding him closer, lacing their fingers together.] You should still say yes if he does come back to you. I think I can be smart enough to avoid him if he's doing something big.
He needs to get over himself. [He can see why Oliver would be upset. It's not the kind of shit you want to have to deal with on top of the usual Ryslig problems of changing and feeding. And Soeki is hurt and annoyed in general at the moment.]
I don't know if I would want to now. Obviously my input doesn't matter even though I'm practically the only one on this peninsula that really gets what Halloween means to magic folk.
Before he snubbed me. For siding with my boyfriend. I don't need his friendship, or his party. [He leans his head against Oliver's, subtly taking in the scent of his hair. It's familiar, comforting. Weird that he thinks smells are comforting now, but hashtag bear life.]
Wards. They go over doorways, actually. [He smiles a little, fond.] But it's sweet of you to offer.
[It sucks, and it hurts a little, and maybe he's sulking like a five year old whose toy was taken away, but he'll get over it. If it comes to choosing, he'll choose Oliver any day.]
Would you draw them with me? We can do it in chalk. It'll wipe right up after Halloween since I don't have my magic to back them. It's just tradition for me, you know?
[He thinks about that. It's nice that he's offering to do it in chalk, and he can't say he's too enthusiastic about the thought of having them up permanently, but this is Soeki. It's important to him, and he's already ruined one part of the holiday.]
Let's do it in paint. Or... what do you normally use?
[He's clearly a little surprised when Oliver suggests paint, gold eyes widening a fraction, smile going hopelessly soft. He's always a little wary when his... family craft comes up, because it can be off-putting to other people, but Oliver embracing this tradition of his family's... It just makes him fonder.]
Usually sharpie or black paint, yeah. [He laughs quietly.] But we also cover over them a day or two after Halloween with a coat of the wall paint. It'd look weird if you ever had regular-people guests over, y'know?
Covering isn't the same as clearing away. But they're not gonna work either way. [His smile is a little bitter there; it still feels weird and wrong to not have his magic, even after all this time in Ryslig. Being a were is hard for more reasons than just the pain of transforming or the feral spells.]
It's enough that you offered, Ollie. It means a lot. It doesn't matter if it's paint or chalk, I just... [He looks down slightly, almost shy.] Want to share a little bit of home with you.
[He stills at that, stomach twisting. The "I know" is on the edge of his tongue, but he already keeps so many things to himself. Some worse than others. Some that Soeki really does deserve to know, if he weren't so worried about losing him.
He sighs, settling himself against him more securely.]
You didn't screw up anything, he started it when he said that shit to you. And then when he decided to blow me off instead of discussing it. [He trails his lips down, presses a kiss just under his ear.] This is some highschool bullshit, honestly. No thanks.
[That just makes him smile, and mouth over that spot again.] I don't miss it. You wouldn't have looked at me twice. I don't need all the dumb drama, I just need you.
Oh, and you were? I was a spotty, weedy kid in eyeliner. [He breathes out a laugh, kissing a path along the exposed skin of his throat, unhurried. The tips of his fingers edge under the hem of his shirt.]
no subject
[He frowns, leaning against him.]
Do you think I overreacted?
no subject
No, I don't think you did. What did he even say? If he straight up said I was wasting my time with you, I swear to god-
no subject
[He's quick to say it. And actually that's the accusation he feels worst about now he's had time to sit there and worry about this conversation while he's been waiting.]
We weren't even dating then. It was just generally. He said if someone was gay where he comes from they'd still marry who they were meant to. For heirs. Or so they didn't shame their family. And he's totally okay with that happening. He's happier with it that way. He said he's alarmed when he thinks too much about knowing two guys who are engaged to each other.
[He laughs a little as he explains it, still hardly able to believe he had that conversation. That it actually does still sound that bad now he's sober.]
God, I can't believe I actually thought he might have changed his mind.
no subject
He breathes out heavily at the explanation, leaning his head against Oliver.] Jesus. I shouldn't really be surprised? There are some older necromancers who think the same shit. But literally all he has to do is decide that other people's personal lives aren't his business to be scandalized about.
He can think whatever he wants. [He tilts his head, mouths a kiss against whatever he can reach.] You're not a waste of my time. And he can fuck off with his party if he'd rather go plan it with the "muggles" he hates.
no subject
[But now he's actually talking about it... it had been pretty bad. Really bad.
Bad enough to get Soeki frozen out of his Halloween party? He can't quite believe himself, but he isn't sure. It isn't just some dumb commercialized holiday to either him or Lucius.]
I know I'm not. [He's secure enough in his relationship he already knew he didn't think so either, but the kiss is nice all the same. He seeks out the hand that isn't currently holding him closer, lacing their fingers together.] You should still say yes if he does come back to you. I think I can be smart enough to avoid him if he's doing something big.
no subject
I don't know if I would want to now. Obviously my input doesn't matter even though I'm practically the only one on this peninsula that really gets what Halloween means to magic folk.
no subject
[He sighs, resting his head on Soeki's shoulder.]
If you want to draw your protection stuff on my walls then you can.
no subject
Wards. They go over doorways, actually. [He smiles a little, fond.] But it's sweet of you to offer.
no subject
[Well, he screwed that up. Maybe he should ask him me questions about his beliefs. This conversation is making him realize how little he does know.]
Well, you can draw wards. If you want to.
no subject
Would you draw them with me? We can do it in chalk. It'll wipe right up after Halloween since I don't have my magic to back them. It's just tradition for me, you know?
no subject
Let's do it in paint. Or... what do you normally use?
no subject
Usually sharpie or black paint, yeah. [He laughs quietly.] But we also cover over them a day or two after Halloween with a coat of the wall paint. It'd look weird if you ever had regular-people guests over, y'know?
no subject
[Not that they'd work in Ryslig either way. He's not sure what the best thing to offer from there is.]
Do you want to paint over them after?
no subject
It's enough that you offered, Ollie. It means a lot. It doesn't matter if it's paint or chalk, I just... [He looks down slightly, almost shy.] Want to share a little bit of home with you.
no subject
I want that too. I want to understand the things you believe in. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide them from me.
no subject
I don't feel like I have to hide from you. And it goes both ways, you don't have to hide anything from me either.
no subject
He sighs, settling himself against him more securely.]
You're so much better than you think you are.
no subject
Who's the one supporting who here? And all because an old dude hurt my feelings, christ. I don't deserve you.
no subject
He's not that old. And he's your friend. I did kind of screw that up for you.
no subject
no subject
I almost miss high school. Sort of. At least there I thought one day everyone would have grown past this.
no subject
no subject
[He tilts his head, making his neck more available to him. His breathing's already starting to sound a little shallow.]
no subject
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)